Brad Pitt. Beyonce. Angelina Jolie. Marilyn Monroe. Heck, Barack Obama. All of them have something in common. They are magnetic! Like them or not, we can’t take our eyes off of them.
The term charisma has two definitions: (1) compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others, (2) a divinely conferred power or talent.
I am going to give it a third definition. Charisma: crazy sexy hotness. So how do you get there? Well it isn’t by doing 150 ab crunches a day or by spending hundreds of dollars on professional blonde highlights. (Though those things feel pretty great too!) What I am talking about is completely attainable for everyone reading this. Because you see charisma, or crazy sexy hotness, isn’t about how you look. It’s about you feel; how you feel about YOURSELF and how that feeling inspires others to feel about you. It’s a ripple effect. How YOU feel shoots out a special energy that touches other people and influences their feelings about you. If you beam out a negative energy, they will feel negative around you. If you beam out positivity, self-assurance, love and light, that is exactly what you will bring forth from them. How cool and powerful is that?! How people are attracted to you is a direct result of the energetic messages you are beaming out in their direction. Here are 4 things you need to emanate that awesome, attractive energy that makes you irresistible.
1. A PASSION- Years and years ago when I was working in theatre and choreographing a show, I was telling my boyfriend at the time how excited I was about the project. He said “I love when you talk about this. Your whole face lights up and your eyes literally sparkle and shine.” (Looking back, WOW he was cute!) The point is when we have something we feel passionate about, our face truly does look brighter. There is a spark in our eyes and a zest and intensity that pour out of us and that’s hot! What do you LOVE? What makes you feel that rush of energy running through your veins? Message it sends: I am capable of intense rapture and devotion….everywhere.
2. A GOAL- We all need a purpose. Something we are fired up about and moving towards. Something that revs up our engine and fuels our souls. We need to have work that doesn’t feel like work. Friday night with no plans? Great! It gives you a chance to spend time with your vision, working towards your desired outcome. Nothing is more boring than when we ask someone what’s new, and in return we get a shrug, an empty stare and a “not much. Get a goal; the kind that you lose yourself in. The kind of goal that is so exciting to you that you cannot stop planning for it. Message it sends: I am never bored (or boring) because I have something AWESOME going on. And you will want to be a part of it.
3. BOUNDLESS RANDOM LOVE- Hold up. I’m not talking one night stands with random bartenders. What I am talking about is choosing to love every single person you encounter, knowing deep down that you are divinely connected to them in some way. Sometimes when I am just walking down the street and I pass someone I will find myself wondering what moves them. Are they happy? Struggling? Feeling “less than?” I will quietly bless them, silently say “I love you.” It feels incredible to be filled with that much love for everyone and everything around you. It makes people feel good in your presence. That same old boyfriend nick named me “Bell.” He said it was because when I walked into a room it was as though a bell rang, and everyone woke up and gravitated towards me. (Maybe I should have held onto him Message it sends: I have boundless rivers of love within me and therefore, an endless amount to give. In my presence you will feel forever loved and special. (And who doesn’t want that?!)
4. YOUR LITTLE BOOK OF RULES- Know thyself. To thine own self be true… The guys who wrote all that were on to something. Who in the heck are you? What do you stand for? What are your values? What are your non-negotiable needs and expectations? What will you NEVER tolerate? Answer those questions for yourself and hold fast to the answers. When you get comfortable with your rules, and live by them as guidebook, your confidence will soar. I had no confidence at all growing up. I had no idea what I wanted or what I stood for. I spent many many years watching my friends go on dates while I sat home with my parents. But in my late 20’s something shifted. I began to love myself. I learned my answers to the questions above and I never wavered. I also never sat home again on a weekend! You see when you know exactly what you want, don’t want, what you always expect and never tolerate a few different things will happen. The opposite sex will be grateful that you’ve removed the tiresome guessing game and they will be inspired by your sense of identity in such a way that they will openly communicate theirs. Message it sends: I know who I am. And who I am ROCKS. And you cannot help but want to dig deep and find out more.
So there you have it. Four steps to a sexier you. What’s great about these is that it doesn’t matter how bad of a hair day you’re having, or much money you’ve lost or how many pounds you’ve put on. These four steps are totally within your power. Use them. Feel them. Live by them. And watch the love roll in!